So after going out once again to one of the same places I’m usually out at, seeing the same 25 people, and becoming slightly annoyed at the fact that the chances of me meeting a guy were getting slimmer by the minute I decided to do something about this.  Now I’m neither for or against dating websites.  I know people who have met their now boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives on them.  But personally, I’m a bit too freaked out to think that I would meet someone online, and then actually feel safe enough to meet them in person.  I just couldn’t do it.  But for shits and giggles I decided to sign up for plentyoffish.com, a free dating site, because I’m not going to pay for something I’m not taking that seriously.  So I sign up, add a picture..
 

Write a bit about myself, which I hate doing because I just don’t feel I can sum myself up in a tiny paragraph. 

(I’m a 23 year old recent graduate from Indiana University of Pennsylvania. I graduated with a degree in Communications Media and a minor in psychology. I love all things entertainment-esque. In college I worked at our TV station as a crew member and on-air weather anchor for our schools news station. I enjoy going out with my friends, listening to music, and having fun no matter the place or situation. I’m just going to throw a few random facts out there so you can get to know me a little bit more. I love music and consider myself a “lyric” person. I’d much rather listen to a song that actually means something than some pointless rap about diamonds or shoes. My favorite band is Bayside and the last song my friend and I karaoked to was Taking Back Sundays ‘Make Damn Sure’. I’m very very independent and love being able to provide for myself. I love knowing that I bought everything I own, I pay for everything I have, and that I don’t need anybody else to do that for me. I appreciate a hard worker because I feel that you can appreciate things more when you know what its like to work for it yourself. I’m very laid back and can get along with pretty much anybody.)

..And submit my profile.  This is around 1030 on Saturday night..and quickly after I submit it I head out with one of my friends.  I come home around 230 AM and see my imbox flooded with pages of messages.  I’m slighty tipsy and start reading them.  I thought maybe it was the booze that made all of these messages seem hilarious but after reading them again today (along with the flood of new messages I got) I just couldn’t let them sit in cyber space and knew I had to share the humor with everyone else (or at least everyone who reads my blog).  So by this point I’m up to 13 pages (lets say around 2 PM on Sunday) I start going through, reading them all, and saving the best ones.
 

 But as soon as I think I’m through them all, I have a few more pages to read.  Now trust me I’m in no way bragging about the hundreds of replies I’ve gotten.  I’m positive most of these guys are just trying to find someone to hook up with and when they saw a pretty girl they messaged her.  Its just how it works.  So its now 4PM on sunday and I’m up to 19 pages. 
 

Honestly at this point I just want them to stop so I can write this blog but hey, funny things keep coming so at least its more material to use. 
So here goes..the best of my plentyoffish replies. Hope you find them as amusing as I did.

 
Okay bigsexy. Let me just start by saying I don’t care what you have to say, if you gave yourself the username bigsexy..I’m not going to talk to you. Next!

 

Now I got this cliche message over and over..and while theres nothing wrong with it.  It also doesnt stand out, therefore..next..

Cute toes and soles? Okay, I’m currently gagging in my mouth and clealy chalking you up to the foot fetish freak that you are. #Ew

Now heres someone who actually read my profile (I mentioned in college I worked as a weather girl for our TV station) I give this person credit for being original at least.

“I have cars, toys, n bills..”  HA

Let me just say this person sent me at least 15 messages, this is just one of them. #creeper #creeper #creeper

 
Good try buddy ;)

 
Oh well Mr. Big shot, going to be off the market in 2 seconds flat if I dont stop everything I do and write back RIGHT NOW! I think I’ll pass.

And by “would you like to hang out” you mean “would you like to bone” — I think not.

 
How original.

 
Wow, what an interesting message that is! You know how to spell sexy. Good for you!

 
I’m sorry uhyea, I’m going to have to decline..

 
Never heard of Bayside? No Bayside..no me.
 

Umm..the last I checked..yes.

 
“I’m not a creeper lol!!!”  #riiiiighhhttt

 
You said it, not me.

 
Nice offer. I don’t like lobster though, and I’m not into sushi. Also, you liked my profile? Does that mean you think I’m hot and thats why you are asking me to go out with you?  PS. Whats your number? Yea right, not happening.

 
SO LAME. I repeat, SOOOO LAME. Do these lines actually work?

 

Okay someone help me here. I googled this to see if its a song. No results.  Is this some famous poem I just dont know? Either way, I’m not looking for a Romeo or anyone to sweep me off my feet. This actually freaks me out just as much as the toe fetish guy.
 

Another kind man who actually read my profile. I’m into the TBS reference and appriciate he knows my favorite band. Eh. xoxo.

 
I think this one speaks for itself. Hey, at least the $27 a month I pay to bake myself isnt going unnoticed! Ha

Philly stud eh? Aren’t you cool.

Just slightly lost in the flood.

Can’t wait to hold hands and put our toes in the sand! How cute you 24 year old white/rican

 
#yathink?

ABSOLUTELY. Let me load up my shot gun and head out your way you crazy redneck ;)

For one..awful user name. ‘IMWAYBETTERTHENYOURBF’
For two..saying I’m perfect is not cute. I’m not perfect. I don’t act like I am.  It doesn’t make me happy inside to hear that. Also, do you even know me at all? Didnt think so.
 

Okay, heres one example of a response that I actually found funny.  Not the typical creeper response but someone who actually has a sense of humor (beyond idiotic pickup lines!) I won’t lie I responded to this person based on this message alone.

 
bffs? activities? lols

 
#creepy

 
Tell your friend he just lost $20 ;)

Would it have been that hard to spell out the word tomorrow?

Alright I think its about time to end this blog for now.  I now have 26 pages of messages and if I keep reading them this post will be never ending.  So for now, 24 hours and 26 pages of messages later..I’ve learned that joining a dating site is precisely as creepy as I imagined it would be and that people really are clueless as to what to say in attempts to attract a girl.  Hope you find the humor in this as much as I have.  And I have a feeling there will be more to come..